Reaching out to our youth, and giving them something to do has long been a challenge for most parents. Finding after-school programs and “fun” things for them to do to stay out of trouble is a job for concerned parents. There's karate and piano lessons, ballet and a number of sports. Now, don't be thrown off by my use of quotation marks hugging the word “fun”. Those are fun things to do for some kids. Some may even fall in love with those activities, and find that they are actually talented in those areas. The quotations are there as my way of saying, “Hey Mom, are you sure it's fun to the mini-you?” It may be more a practical thing to some parents, as it is something productive for the kids to do while the parents are still at work, or to get the little ones out of the house in the weekend. It may truly be an educational option, or an exploration of talents and interests for other parents. But then, something awfully confusing happens overnight; they become teenagers.
There's a big game changer. Some parents cringe at the thought. Some brace themselves like they're on the Incredible Hulk roller coaster ride in Orlando. All with good reason I guess, there are lots of changes going on, like the need for individuality, independence and self-expression thing. Some dads try to tell teens those things are overrated, but to no avail. Truth of the matter is that at this point, there is some negotiating to do. Not just with the “teen people”, but within yourselves as parents. It's no longer what you would like for them to do. You need to go a bit further. Some probing needs to be done in a way that doesn't diminish your authority more than they will try to do so themselves.
What do they really want to do? What do they really like? What is “cool” to them? Yes, to them. You may be the coolest amongst your friends daddy, but it's all relative. One thing you may want to keep in mind however, is that socializing outside of the dreaded school building becomes pretty important for many teens. You and I both know they don't need to go to the mall three times a week. The most dedicated window shopper knows they don't change the manikins that frequently. It's about the friends, the girls the boys, they could get together at nearest parking lot and turn the car lights on and blast the hottest non-approved-by-mom-and-dad music and that would do the trick. Flashback. But you know what I mean. As they get a little older though, they get tricky. Now the walks in the mall turn into a quick visit to a party “so and so whatever” is having. That concerns so many parents and who can blame them. No matter how tight a ship you run however, there is that one day that they get you. They out maneuver you and there they are. In a place you don't want them to be in. Of course, you rarely find out until there is some kind of trouble. Whether it's trouble with your own child, or another parent's child, who was in attendance at the big gala.
At this delicate stage, more than ever kids need to make choices. Bigger choices. As in choosing to do what you ask them to do when you're not looking. But, here's an idea. How about you actually throw in a choice for their socializing needs. How about you encourage them to go party....at a place where you would have no problem with them partying that is. Thanks to the Boys And Girls Club parents in Anchorage, Alaska, have this choice on the menu.
On Friday October 15th The Boys And Girls Club in Anchorage Alaska will be presenting their monthly Teen Party featuring DJ Beaumont, who has volunteered to be a part of this event.“As soon as David Barney told me about this, I was all in.” said DJ Beaumont. “I'm happy to go there and be a part of this event, and get the kids to have a good time in a nice and safe environment.” Music goes on at 8pm and cuts off at 12am. The events will continue in the foreseeable future as an option and compromise for parents and teens. Why wouldn't this work just about anywhere?
This is something you can suggest and organize in your local community. There are many parents with similar concerns that would love to have this option as a tool in dealing with their teens and giving them a place to go that the parents do approve of; a means of meeting each other half way. Give it a shot, it's either that, or the party at “so and so whatever”'s house. Just remember, no matter what, do not under any circumstances tell your teenagers you had anything to do with organizing or suggesting the party to organizers. That would make it instantly uncool.
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